I want to start a lot of blogs based on specific topics and become extremely popular and somehow break into meaningless journalism by my aforementioned fame. When I say “meaningless” I’m referring to things without meaning. That’s why I added the “less” part. Primarily reviews of things – food, movies, cities, books, activities, (insert nouns here). Seeing as though I find it close to impossible to even update my blog about absolutely nothing more than three times a year, one might think I would not be suited for managing many blogs and producing pieces in a somewhat regular fashion. I think with imaginary deadlines and feigned demand I could trick myself into keeping up with the needs of my nonexistent public.
I’m not normally one to toot my own horn (and I suppose I’m not really going to be doing that now…), but I think I could write reviews and they would be adequate. Claiming one’s self to be adequate isn’t exactly boasting, is it? I will be quick to point out that I’m not blown away by most reviews I read so I feel that I am capable of reaching (and dare I say it — surpassing?) the current level of “okay”.
I mean…if he can do it…
My career (goal) is graphic designer. Yes, I am a graphic designer. I design things. People pay me to do it. Since I’ve never worked in a firm and put in my time in hell, I often don’t feel like I can call myself a graphic designer. But that is what I do. So there.
My dream job is being the designer for a magazine that I also write articles in. I feel like becoming the designer for a magazine is feasible and then weaseling my way to becoming a freelance writer for them is only a matter of time. Actually, being the designer for a magazine is reality because I am the new designer for Local Table ( A Guide to Food and Farming in Middle Tennessee ). So, step one of two is completed.
Now on to step two: Weaseling.
If there is one thing I’m good at, it’s estimating what size container I’ll need to store leftovers in. It is unbelievable how good I am at this. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how clever I am. Fortunately, the woman who runs the magazine is extremely nice and the all the contributors are freelance writers so it might not take more than a writing sample and her deciding whether or not it sucks. I had plotted to disguise my articles in emails, imagining her thinking, “God, if these are what her emails sound like – think of how amazing her story could be about the 12 South Farmer’s Market Scandals!” And the next thing you know, I’m interviewing Mark Ruffalo and designing the layout of his pictures and deciding on the font I’m using for the amazing pun I just came up with using his name. “Mark my words, You are about to be Ruffalo-ed Up!”
That’s not what it will be. Something way better.
